My Morning Convo with ED

Today, like every morning since Little Bit's birth, I woke up and made a mad dash for the bathroom.  If I'm lucky I have enough time to relieve myself before she realizes I'm no longer laying near her bassinet, if I'm really lucky I can sneak a 2 minute shower before she starts wailing and wakes up Daddy (he works nights). This morning wasn't one of the lucky mornings...I had just enough time to use the restroom and scoot.  And apparently ED had enough time to catch a quick glimpse in the mirror and formulate an early attack, usually he waits until I've had my first cup of coffee...apparently he's an eager beaver today.

ED: You look like shit.
Me: I just woke up...
Not my point, your thighs...if you insist on being so fat you could at least sleep in sweat pants.
Its to hot at night to sleep in sweat pants.
Well then lose some weight, A LOT of weight.
I just had a baby.
No excuse, plenty of women have babies and manage not to look like Jell-O afterwards. 
Shut up.
You were fat before the pregnancy, now you're a whale.
I was not fat...
You weren't thin.
I was losing weight.
A pound every week does not count.  You know how to lose weight, real weight.
I can't do that...its not right.
Those three tires around your gut aren't right.
I'm breastfeeding.
There's formula.
Are you paying for it?
So don't throw up.  Eat a little less...and EXERCISE.
I do exercise.
Real exercise...pushing a stroller around the block doesn't count.
I can't yet.  Second c-section, remember?  I really prefer not to rip the incision open.
You gotta do something. 
I am, I'm eating healthy.
Key word: eating. 
I have to eat.
Not so much, skip breakfast.
Can't Marc will get mad.
Don't tell him.
He'll ask. He always asks. And he can tell when I lie.
I'm sure he'd rather you skip one teeny tiny meal than be married to a mammoth. Look in the mirror, would you want to sleep with you?
Shut up.
Just saying, no man likes flab.
I JUST HAD A BABY!
Keep telling yourself that...

I didn't skip breakfast...feel like hell though.  Needless to say today's going to be a battle.