My first day in treatment for my eating disorder my therapist told me to give my eating disorder its own voice, to distinguish my thoughts from its thoughts. Like most recovering from an eating disorder I call mine ED. But since I've been in recovery ED has developed a counter personality, Mrs. Bitch.
While ED likes to harass me about my weight, calories, exercise, and my lack of perfection in almost every area of my life, Mrs. Bitch likes to harass me about my imperfections associated with recovery. If I skip a meal or snack she takes note. If I don't eat the minimum number of calories I'm supposed to in a day she points it out.
Seriously, WTF!
It was bad enough having one monster terrorize me. Now I have two. A journey into my brain if you please...
ED: You're eating again.
Me: It's a granola bar.
Mrs. Bitch: You didn't have enough protein with lunch, you should eat some peanut butter too.
I don't want peanut butter.
Thank God, it'd go straight to your thighs.
You need the protein. You're not eating properly.
I'm eating.
Fat ass.
Eat a boiled egg instead of a granola bar.
I want the granola bar and we're out of eggs.
Eggs are fat.
Eggs are not fat.
Everything has fat.
No everything has calories, not fat.
Celery doesn't have calories.
Okay so live off celery.
You can't live off celery. You need protein, carbohydrates, and good fats.
You need a bigger pair of pants.
If I wasn't certifiable before I sure am now...
0 comments:
Post a Comment